7 Lessons Learned From A Recent Tragic Event (life can really suck sometimes)

As some of you already know from my updates on my profile page on Facebook, 2 weeks ago my beautiful sister, Candice, slipped and fell from a balcony landing head first into a garden bed. It’s a miracle she survived and we’re just so grateful we still have her! Candi suffered a lot of swelling on the right side of her brain which went down quite quickly but she can’t look right at this stage and she’s not talking much which has us quite concerned. She seems to comprehend what we say though, and even cracked a few laughs yesterday. She’ll have an MRI soon to see if there’s any brain damage. Sadly, her most serious injury has been to her neck resulting in terrible spinal cord damage. Candi was in ICU for 6 days before being transferred to the spinal ward, and in a few weeks she will spend around 10 months at a rehabilitation hospital. At this stage, Candi hasn’t moved her body. It is so unbelievably traumatic for my poor sister and my family to watch her go through everyone’s worst nightmare. We remain optimistic however, spending as much time by her side showering her with love and positivity and pray she makes a full recovery.

From the moment I decided on starting my own blog, I promised myself it would be a ‘no bullshit’ kinda blog. “Life with Elizabeth Rose” is the name I gave it, and I’m honoring its title and what it represents…my life. It is honest and from the heart. Some of my future posts about this time in my life, including this one, may be confronting for some of you but this is life and unfortunately, shit happens sometimes that is out of your control. It sucks and it’s painful but it’s the way it is and if you don’t learn to “roll with the punches”, you might as well give up.

For now, these are some of the lessons I’ve learned…

1. This recent tragedy has taught me that my love for Candi is far more important than judgements, bickering and arguments that at the end of the day, really are insignificant! It’s a shame it took something like this to have this realisation.

 

2. Not to get overwhelmed by the medical terms & prognosis and to keep the door open to alternative & holistic practices and beliefs. Medicine as amazing as it is, can only take you so far. The gentleman in the bed opposite Candi, Jason, told us yesterday that he literally got squashed by a truck 12 months ago! When the driver tried to move the truck, the brakes failed and he was squashed again. Everyone thought he was dead. Awful. Jason suffered spinal cord damage in his lumbar spine, fractures all the way along his spine, internal bleeding, broken bones plus I’m sure other injuries he didn’t go into and was told he would never walk again…well, he is walking again! He’s getting some surgery done on his foot right now and he still has a few problems, but he is a perfect example of defeating his medical prognosis! Jason told us he’s been praying for Candi and listening to see if she talks during the night…he’s a Christian and believes Candi will heal. He’s our new best friend :-)

 

3. I’ve discovered that my inner strength is stronger than what I had ever imagined. For some reason, I’ve always been scared of tragedy striking and being unable to cope with it. I now know that regardless of what life throws at me, I have the strength and tenacity to get through it. I do however, believe that no one should have to go through more than one unexpected tragic circumstance in a lifetime!!!

 

4. I already knew this, but my mum truly is the most amazing person I know. Even though she visibly looks very distressed and worried, without her continuous positive outlook, healing ways, belief in miracles & alternative healing plus the love she has for my sister and her 3 other children; it would have made it so much harder to get through the most difficult time of my life.

 

5. I can see and appreciate how difficult it is for men (i.e.my dad and bro) to deal with not being able to just step in and fix the problem! It is tormenting my dad so much.

 

6. That the bond between twins really does exist. I have seen how for Candi’s twin, Sam, it has been so incredibly stressful & frustrating for him not being able to take her pain away…as it has been for all of us. It is so sad but beautiful watching him care for her.

 

7. With my mum’s counsel, I’ve learned that being stuck in misery and “why my sister”, “why my family”, “why me”, doesn’t help. It is far more powerful & positive for Candi to have us focus on gratitude that she is still in our lives, and have positive thoughts and visualisations of her moving forward and moving her body again.

image via flickr: navarzo4

Have you gone through a tragic time in your life too? I love hearing from people who understand the pain I’m going through, and also people’s survival stories and miracles people have experienced. Please leave a comment below, even if it’s just to offer your love, support & positivity. And please say your prayers for Candice, focusing on healing energy, movement & strength. Thank you so much!

xx Liz

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Comments

Comments

  1. Jules says

    Hi Elizabeth, I am so sorry to hear what you, your sister and your family have been going through and good on you for being honest about your experience. Sometimes life does just plain suck. I read somewhere something that has helped me through a recent difficult time and it is basically ‘don’t fight what is’ – don’t spend your energy wondering why, what if, etc, because it won’t change what is. Accept what is and go from there. Hang in there and remember the human body is capable of amazing things.

  2. Elisia says

    It is a truly tragic event that happened to Candice! My heart goes out to her and she will be in my daily prayers. I’m a firm believer that things happen for a reason even if we don’t understand or know the reasons at the time. God does not give us anything beyond what we can deal with! The power of positive thinking and believing in God to carry you through it all is phenominal!! Great blog! Elisia

    • says

      Thank you for your comment Elisia! I also believe everything happens for a reason…even the tragic things. I believe we are born with a plan already made out for us. Thank you for your daily prayers xx

  3. Maggie says

    Hi Liz
    Your story really resonated with me. My brother recently had a workplace accident, falling 4.5 metres with a circular saw in his hand. The saw pretty much cut off half my brothers face. For 24 hours we didn’t know if he was brain damaged. This was the most horrible 24 hours for my family and me. Fortunately his plastic surgeon was nothing short of genius. He will never look the same, but we are so grateful he is alive. Whether he can work again is not known yet.
    So, i wish u all the very best for your family. I had some counselling for myself because just because your not the injured one, doesn’t mean you don’t experience
    PTTD.
    Take care
    Maggie :-)

    • says

      Oh Maggie, what a horrific accident! The waiting part is so awful…we’ve had lots of that. Thank you for sharing your story and I’m so happy your brother had a fantastic plastic surgeon! Will probably get some counselling too…we’ve spoken to a couple of social workers at the hospital but some one on one therapy would be good for us all I think :-)

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