Guest Post
I’ve been single for 379 days. For a serial long term dater, that’s quite a feat.
That’s 3 447 385 hours.
206 843 040 minutes.
It’s 758 showers.
1137 meals.
1516 trips to the bathroom.
It’s 2117 left swipes on Tinder.
4 first kisses.
2 sexual health checks.
It’s also a lot of nights spent spooning pillows.
Eating meals alone.
Flying solo at the cinema.
For years, I avoided being without a partner. Coupledom was familiar and comfortable. Predictable and safe.
I thought the alternative – singledom – was scary and painful. Lonely and boring. Confronting and really freakin’ hard.
Because of this, I stayed in my relationships well past their use-by dates. Avoided challenging, but much needed conversations. Turned a blind eye. Justified behaviours. Ignored the signs. Put up with a lot of sh!t.
Until 379 days ago that is. 379 days ago when one door closed and another opened.
379 days ago, I started a new relationship. The most nurturing and nourishing relationship I’ve ever been in. The most supportive and transformational.
My relationship with myself.
I’m not going to lie, it was scary.
It’s scary finding yourself alone when you’ve had someone by your side since you were 16.
It’s scary finding yourself alone when everyone around you is shacked up and pregnant.
It’s scary finding yourself alone when your vision of your future is turned on its head. And then stomped on.
I saw that I had one of two choices though. To sink, or embrace the heck out of it.
I chose the latter and I’m pleased as punch to say that the past 379 days have been some of the most peaceful, liberating, empowering, happy and content of all my life.
I’ve invested in myself.
Prioritised myself.
Grown comfortable in my own company.
Travelled.
Formed new friendships.
Nurtured my existing relationships.
Immersed myself in creative endeavours.
Strengthened my spiritual practice.
Gotten to know and accept myself – warts and all.
Exercised.
Nourished my body with wholesome food.
Gotten comfortable with feeling uncomfortable.
It hasn’t been easy, but it’s been worth it.
“We must be on our own before we can be another’s”.
– Ralph Waldo Emerson
These words ring true to me as I continue to venture down the glorious Path of Singledom.
Do not fear not being in a relationship my friend. Rather, fear not having a relationship with yourself. Place trust in the Universe and know, with all of your being, that Mister or Mrs Right WILL come along when (and only when!) the time is right.
Whatever your relationship status, I hope the next 379 days of your life are filled with peace, bliss and a whole lot of self love.
++
This heart-felt post was written by the beautiful Che Johnson from Life with Che. How about leaving her some lovin’ in the comments below.
Che is a happy-go-lucky lady on a mission to inspire the women of this world to dream, big, live boldly and pursue happiness. She loves all things self love, self care and spirituality. In her spare time you’ll find her laughing loudly, journalling, exploring the world and being inspired by the small things in life. Get her free guide, ‘365 Days to Happy: inspired steps to create a life you love’ at www.lifewithche.com. Facebook | Instagram | Email: che@lifewithche.com
Thank you so so so much for having me beautiful lady! Sending lots of love your way. XXX
It was an absolute pleasure gorgeous! Keep on shining your self-lovin’ light brightly xx
Hi Liz,
I just wanted to say thank you for this wonderful message. I am at the stage in my life where I have just come out of yet another relationship, and like you have always been in a relationship and feel like this is my time to be on my own and not rely on having to be with someone else to find my happiness! I am so scared but excited about hoping to be able to finally be on my own and start that relationship with myself. So thank you for the encouragement. xx It’s nice to not feel so alone in these feelings!