Why You Must Love Yourself First


You’ve probably heard that you must love yourself first before calling in love from another, but have you ever really taken this on board and applied it to your life?

The reason you must love yourself first is simple – the partner you attract will be a reflection of you. We attract people into our lives metaphysically, meaning we attract into our lives those people and circumstances that are in tune with our unique thoughts and beliefs.

You attract to yourself what you radiate out from yourself, whether it is positive or negative.

Makes sense, huh?

So if you don’t love yourself, it is likely you will attract someone who is also lacking in this important emotion – you will be drawn to each other out of this mutual belief and the relationship will feel comforting and safe at the beginning, however over time you may start to feel stuck and drained.

And then there’s the Saviour Complex. Have you ever noticed how some people always become the ‘saviour’ in a relationship? They’re drawn to people they can fix because they’re desperately seeking love and approval. They put the needs of others first instead of focusing on their own needs and desires.

If you are a saviour, lovely, or you find you people please a lot, it is highly likely that you’re not living fully and authentically. Instead of thinking and worrying about what would make others happy, focus more on what you desire and need for your own happiness.

This doesn’t mean you stop being considerate or generous towards others, but thinking of your own desires and needs and voicing these to those around you (and taking action), shows strength of character and is a beautiful reflection of self-love and self-care.

Self-love is the key to attracting your ideal partner

It is also the key to amping up your existing relationship, creating more harmony, joy and love. This is purely because of the undeniable truth that the more you love yourself, the more your partner (and life) will love you.

Self-love is not a technique; it is an attitude. Therefore, self-love begins not with a question (How will I love myself?); but with an affirmation (I am willing to love myself). In other words, self-love starts with willingness, and especially the willingness to accept that loving yourself is a good thing for you, for your family, for your friends, for your partner/future partner, and for your life as a whole.

- Robert Holden

Whenever I coach clients who are looking for love or wanting to strengthen their existing relationship, I have them start with themselves.

Creating more self-love and inner happiness will be your greatest gift to yourself and your relationships 🙂

If this post has resonated with you, I’d love to hear from you in the comments below.


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