Comparing yourself to others (aka comparisonitis), is an icky feeling I’d say most women have suffered from at least a few times throughout their life…I know I have. Comparing yourself to others, although somewhat natural, is a dangerous trap to fall into as although you will eventually pull yourself out of it, you may be left with some wounds.
Comparing yourself to other women’s success, business, relationship, life etc, and wishing you could be/do/have more of what she does (which, inherently, is the feeling you are left with) is a disservice to yourself. The message your inner critic is telling you loud and clear, is that where YOU are at in your journey is not as good as HERS.
Comparison is the thief of self-love, self-compassion and joy
In terms of comparing yourself to another woman’s success and business, I believe we default to this feeling because deep down we know we have it in us to be just as successful as she is, and we’re frustrated that we’re not there yet.
I know it’s true for myself. If I think back to the times I’ve compared myself to others (particularly bloggers & coaches), it’s generally because I’m seeing the gap between what they are doing and what I am doing, and I know all I have to do is fill in this gap to be achieving the same level of success.
My tips for kicking comparisonitis to the curb!
- Acknowledge how amazing this woman is that you’re comparing yourself to, and remember that she too has been on a journey and had her own inner critic to deal with. Send her a message, even if you don’t know her personally, and congratulate her on her greatness. Not only will it make her feel super awesome, it’ll TOTALLY change the way you view comparison, and, competition :-).
Competition as we know it is dead. Collaboration is the new competition. It’s about working with each other, not against. Together we all win – Rich German
- See yourself in their success. As Rachel MacDonald & Tara Bliss so eloquently describe in their eBook Spirited (an absolute MUST READ, especially if you’re under the comparisonitis spell)…
What you desire outside of you already lives inside of you. Accepting that your ‘competition’ is merely a refection of your potential is empowering, insightful and better yet, it kick-starts hope. Take stock of your sphere of influence; the people you surround yourself with. Is it changing? Are you hanging with a different crowd? Being drawn to crazily vibrant vision-eers? Instead of comparing your life to theirs, instead, understand that you’re stepping up into a similar energy as them. Cast the voice of the ego aside as it attempts to trick you into believing that it’s You vs. Them. Your highest, most Spirited self is drawing those that reflect your light into your life. That’s worth smiling at. – Rach & Tara
- Remember there’s a big difference between being jealous or inspired by someone. The choice is your
- Lovingly remind yourself that there’s more than enough room in the world for another woman to thrive and have loads of success. And a little side note…there’s no one in this world quite like YOU. You have something different and unique that stands you apart from anyone else. Hone and own it xx
Over to you! Have you experienced comparisonitis? How does it make you feel? I’d love to hear your thoughts on this – how you deal with it and your experiences. Leave a comment below!