My Most Painful Break-Up And How I’m Dealing With Being A Single Girl In My 30s

This is a story about my first true love. It’s a beautiful story that has given me many fond memories, but it is also a sad story. Heart-breaking in fact. This post is for all of those who have loved and lost…

My most painful breakup and how I'm dealing with being a single girl in her thirties

Like the plethora of other women in their 30s, I am driven and career focused…and single. I didn’t plan it this way, in fact I thought I had found ‘the one’ at the tender age of 23 when I was living in Sydney…and so did my family and friends. I truly believed I would be getting married to this guy, and I could not have been happier!

Going For Gold

This guy, let’s call him Robbie, came into my life at a time when I was really searching and yearning to be with someone. I distinctly remember a conversation I had with my sister Candi not long before I met Robbie, telling her how desperately I wanted to meet someone – I had been single for two and a half years and was over it. My sisters’ advice was to be patient and to “go for gold”. Those three words really stuck with me, and I made myself believe I would find that pot of gold at any moment…and I did, shortly after at my friends’ neighbour’s apartment one evening after we had finished a promo job for some delightful alcohol company, still decked out in our rather frightening promotional attire.

And oh my, did my heart skip a beat when I first saw his gorgeous face. I was completely infatuated with him from that very first moment. I’m almost certain if anyone had walked between us they would have been struck by the sparks flying! We immediately engaged in conversation and quickly discovered we were both from Perth…and oh my, did I tell you how gorgeous he was?

When my friends wanted to leave, I tried subtly yet desperately to shoot them that look of “if you make us leave now I will have to kill you”, but it didn’t work as the next thing I knew I was saying goodbye to this incredibly down to earth, attractive, electrician and surfer from my hometown who had blonde hair, blue eyes and the most gorgeous set of lips I had ever seen.

In the car on our way home, I begged my friend, Rich, to pass my number onto Robbie – I must have told him at least 5 times! As I got out of the car and said my goodbyes, I then shouted to Rich…“and don’t forget to give my number to the hot sparky…pleeeease!!!” Ok, so I may have been a little too eager and crossing the cardinal rule of ‘chasing a guy instead of letting him chase you’, but I was smitten.

Butterflies In My Stomach

Two days later I got a phone call. I remember the moment exactly. I was walking home with my flatmate, Clementine, shopping in hand when my phone rang. It was him. All of a sudden my voice became high pitch and I was breathless and super conscious – he made me nervous. After a bit of general chit chat, Robbie, in an extremely polite fashion, asked me out on a date. I was ecstatic!

It was a Thursday night when Robbie and I had our first date. He picked me up in his new Ute (there’s something about a man who drives a Ute!) and took me to a beautiful French restaurant in Darlinghurst. I remember thinking how cute it was that he looked rather nervous about parallel parking his car…the tiny beads of sweat were a giveaway. Or maybe he was just as nervous as I was about our date!

All through dinner I remember staring at him in disbelief. I had never sat across the table from a man as attractive as Robbie. I had butterflies in my stomach the whole time and had to force my food down from my loss of appetite! After dinner we went to one of my favourite bars on Oxford St that had a DJ playing some cool tunes. I didn’t want the night to end, especially after he kissed me which made me weak at my knees…

When I woke up the next day, I already had a message from Robbie telling me what a great night he had with me. I ran straight into Clementine’s bedroom to gloat about my perfect first date! I was deliriously happy!

Robbie and I had planned to meet up again on Saturday night, which seemed like forever away. I had already planned a night out with Clementine and some of our girlfriends at the Slip Inn nightclub in Darling Harbour, so Robbie said he would meet us there. I couldn’t wait to introduce him to my friends!

I was on the dance floor when Robbie called me to tell me he was here. Hearing his voice immediately gave me butterflies. I was so excited to see him again! I told him where we were, and I will never forget the look on my friend’s faces when they saw him. When Robbie went to the bar to get us both a drink, I turned back to my friends who were all practically jumping up and down and giggling like teenagers…I felt like the luckiest girl in the world.

From that night on, Robbie and I were inseparable. For the next 13 months we were only apart a handful of times…we were so deeply and intensely in love. He was my soul mate and I never thought I could love someone as much as I loved Robbie. He was my everything and treated me like a princess the entire time we were together. He’d often surprise me with flowers, always when I’d least expect it, and hearing him say those words “I love you” and “you’re the most beautiful girl I know”, never grew old. He loved me so much.

The Unexpected…

A few weeks after our one year anniversary, my mum came to stay with me and my eldest sister Katherine (who I was now living with).

When I was at work one evening waiting for Robbie to pick me up, I could not have ever guessed what earth shattering pain I was about to endure…

As we were driving to meet some of our friends in Bondi, I thought Robbie seemed not quite himself but I didn’t think much of it. Later in the evening we had a petty disagreement, which was a rarity, so decided to leave our friends and grab some dinner alone. We agreed on some Chinese takeaway and as we were waiting for it, Robbie’s mood completely changed and for the first time I was worried. As we left and began walking down the street, Robbie opened up his mouth and began to say something that made my heart drop and panic set in and I quickly blurted out “oh my god, you’re not breaking up with me are you?” Robbie looked at me with apprehension, and said “I think I am baby”.

I immediately collapsed to the ground and began to cry but no tears were coming out as I was in utter shock and disbelief. My heart felt like it had been shattered to a thousand pieces. Robbie picked me up and cradled me as we walked up the street to his apartment. The tears were in full swing by this stage and I was a complete and utter blubbering mess. I kept saying I didn’t understand and why would he do this as I thought we were both still so in love. I begged him not to do this, and told him I thought we would marry each other one day, but all he could say as tears now streamed down his face, was “I hope I’m not making the biggest mistake of my life”. I was so confused and wanted this nightmare to be exactly that…a nightmare that I’d eventually wake up from.

I spent the night with him, which was like torture but I wasn’t ready to leave my soul mate. When he left to go to work early in the morning it really felt like we were saying goodbye, and the pain was unbearable. I knew I would have to go home and tell my mum and sister, but I couldn’t face them yet so stayed in his bed for half of the day.

The pain I experienced was like an unexpected death of a loved one…completely out of the blue and devastating. Even having my mum in town to console me couldn’t take one iota of the pain away. I kept saying to mum “but he was my soul mate, I will never find love like this again”. And my mum, the wise woman that she is, said to me “darling, you can have more than one soul mate in a lifetime, your next soul mate is out there waiting for you.” I truly had never thought of that and at the time, didn’t want to hear it. But these days I fervently believe it :-)

Two months after the break-up and still suffering miserably and terribly skinny from the emotional stress, one of my closest male friends at the time, Ivan, loaned me $1000 so I could get the hell outta town. I had negotiated a modelling contract in Tokyo but needed a bit of money behind me to be able to leave, so Ivan kindly offered to help me out. I left for 6 months, spending 3 months working in Tokyo and Osaka and then flew to Bangkok where I worked for a further 3 months. I had an incredible time, many memorable experiences including a few ‘flings’ in an attempt to try and ‘move on’ and fill the void. I thought I was ready to move back to Sydney.

When I arrived back in town, my sister was now living in Perth and although I had my friends, I felt very much alone. I saw Robbie out a few times as we still had a lot of mutual friends (friends I had introduced him to which pissed me off no end as he had bonded even more with a few of them in my absence). This was always a struggle, and sadly bitterness had developed between us which was an outcome of the pain.

A few months later not long before my 25th birthday, I flew down to Melbourne for a stint of modelling work and never returned to Sydney to live again. That was 10 years ago now! I still go back every year to visit friends, but it never feels the same. I’m always fighting sadness when I got back there. It’s buried deep within my molecules of emotion.

I reckon it took me a good 6 years to get over Robbie. Two years after we broke up, I had a whirlwind romance with a dashing German pilot named Mathias (a very romantic story I have written about here), but because I had put Robbie up on a pedestal, it made it nearly impossible for Mathias to live up to my expectations. There were lots of other reasons why it didn’t work, but I’m sure my feelings for Robbie didn’t help.

If I had my time again I would have tried desperately to snap out of it and move on, but it’s easy for me to say that now as I’m older and more mature and looking at the situation in hindsight. But I can honestly say that break-up affected me so deeply that I’m certain it has contributed to me being single on and off for so many years. Not so much since I turned 30 however, I’ve definitely been over it for the last 3 or 4 years. I think I’m still single now as for the last few years when I was living in Melbourne, I was very unhappy. I’ve written about this here.

I have to confess, man is it hard being a single girl in your 30s! It seems to me that guys these days have waaay too many choices! And there’s not as much hunting going on the way it should be. What I mean is the masculine/feminine dynamics are out of whack. It seems more women these days are doing the hunting in an almost desperate attempt to nab a mate. I know too many single and beautiful women in their 30s who are struggling big time to find a partner. And it almost feels competitive. A lot of these women live in fear…fear of having to settle, fear of it not working out, fear of the dating game, fear of time running out and not being able to bear children…the list goes on. It’s a sad and lonely time for these women, and I’ve definitely been there at times myself (I’m sure the single blokes out there will have a different opinion on this).

Having said that though, I personally feel like I’m in a good space. I’m loving life and the career I’m building and I’m happy and excited about my future and truly feel open and ready to find love again…and who knows, that ‘pot of gold’ could be just around the corner!

P.S. Had your heart broken too? Are you a single gal in your 30s and can’t find Mr Right? Would love to hear from you :-)

P.P.S. This post was written on July 16th, 2012. I’m very excited and deliriously happy to announce that as of November 27th 2013, I fell deeply in love with my next soul mate and we became parents to our beautiful baby girl in April 2016 :-). You can read my story of how we met here.

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Comments

Comments

  1. Talitha says

    Ah what a heart breaking but gorgeous story Lizzy Loo. I think EVERY person in this world, at one time or another, has experienced that crushing thing we call ‘heart break’. As horrible as those situations are, I really believe that those ‘heart wrenching, stomach churning, sleepless months etc’ are situations that we build strength from. Turbulent times build characther – there’s some sort of weird achievement when you look back on the heart ache that you overcame. I also think that for every loss you acquire during your quest for ‘the one’, it only brings you ONE step CLOSER to meeting the man/person that is meant for you – your soul mate, your connection, the love of your life, whatever the hell you want to call them. Your Mum is right, maybe we all do have 3+ soul mates in our lifetime. I think to meet even one of them in your lifetime, is one of the most beautiful things you can expereince – despite heart ache and pain – the ability to give love and to be loved, is one of the most joyus things on this planet. xxx

    • says

      So true Tali! Yes, I think everyone has experienced heartbreak. I do feel lucky for having loved and been loved so deeply…it’s nice to know I can love someone that much and more than once in my life. It has given me strength of character and I’m sure I am one step closer to meeting ‘the one’. Thanks for your lovely comment xxx

  2. says

    Beautiful story, as beautiful as yourself.

    As a boy/man past my mid 30’s who just went through a break-up, one that I was given no choice over it, just like yourself in this story, I have to disagree with you.
    I don’t agree only men have too many choices out there. Girls do too.

    It’s not the lack of choice that stops us from meeting our potential soul-mate, it’s our unrealistic and extremely high expectations that stop us.

    We live in a time where every thing is ready to use. We no longer build, we no longer make. And if it’s not working, we don’t look for the source and try to make it work, we choose the easiest option, throw it away and go for next newer and shinier option. Because trying to solve the problem is considered as time wasting. Everyone is rush to get to “Happy ever after land”, but not many really try to take the journey to it, most people want to be dropped right in the middle of it.

    Why do you think the old timers had lived all their life time with one person, their soul-mate? Because they made it work.
    If you build a chair with your bare hands, I promise you, no matter how expensive the rest of your furniture in your house are, you’ll always sit on that chair. Because you built it, you appreciate it. That goes to relationships.

    Girls (and some boys!) read too many fairy tales and they only remember the ‘Happy ever after’ part of those stories. Even in those stories, Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping beauty and the rest of them all had to go through hardship to live happy ever after. But no, girls and boys just want the end product and don’t want to work for it to get it.

    Your Mum is right, we have more than one soul-mate out there. You can’t give it number. To my experience, I have met many The Ones, but I didn’t give them a chance out of choice.

    I’ve learned no matter how good what you have is, you can always find better, always. But that’s not a good way of living, you’ll never be happy thinking like that.

    Your sister was also right, you have to go for the put of gold, but put of gold is not always made of gold, it might be made of led, silver or even wood, but it should feel like gold to you.

    You have to be happy with what you have, so long as what you have is treating you right and makes you happy. So long as you have that base, you can make the rest happen, together. Then your relationship becomes that chair that you made with your bare hands, and you’ll prefer it to all those other shiny options.

    My parents and grandparents, both from my dad’s and mum’s side, lived together till death did them apart, my mum still is in love with my dad, 6 years past his passing away. That happened because they went through hardship and worked all the problems TOGETHER. True, at one point one party puts more effort, but at some other point, the other will do the same.

    So, it’s not the lack of quality choice, or the opposite, too many choices that stops us from meeting our soul-mate. It’s our extremely high and unrealistic expectations.

    If both sides have the belief that it’ll work and the willingness to work it, 99% it’ll work. But sadly, too many are too worried about that 1% possibility of “What if it doesn’t?” and disregard the other 99%.

    Have high, but realistic expectations and give them a chance. Happy ever after is not a holiday resort that you can just buy a ticket and go to it, you build it and make it your happy ever after. :)

    • says

      Wow Aydin!!! Thank you so much for writing such a well thought out comment with such beautiful analogies! I completely agree with you! I know for sure that I have let plenty of chances pass me by because of my high expectations…it’s something I become more aware of with age and maturity. It’s so true that you need to ‘work’ on your relationship…through the good and the bad. Interesting that a lot of arranged marriages seem to last..there’s definitely something to be said for that and how our grandparents marriages were. xx

  3. Reza P says

    I agree with Elizabeth in the sense that the dynamics work differently for women. However, not every woman in their 30s think the same way about relationships nor do they go about looking for their ideal man the same way. That’s why I can’t totally agree with her comment about more women seemingly doing the hunting or men having more choices. I’m sure there are plenty of lovely girls in their 30s who are struggling to find a partner but they also have to look at ‘how’ they are going about it and as Aydin said it’s not simply a matter of guys having too many choices and girls having to the hunting.

    From my own perspective (and in my opinion) there are:

    1) Those who want to be with someone because they feel time is running out for them. They are concise about their age or appearance, worry about their biological clock ticking for having children or see friends or family members in relationships and feel left out. These are the girls who are constantly on the hunt.
    Guys who look for a short term hook up spot them from a mile. As lovely as some of these girls might be, they often end up with the wrong guy and easily get hurt because the feel the need to just ‘be’ with someone.

    2) Those who are perfectly happy with themselves and the way their life is going and are open to a long lasting relationship. There is no sense of panic in their lives. They remain confident about themselves and are realistic and open minded about who they would want to have a relationship with, yet would never throw themselves at just any guy. This sense of personal security, knowing who you are and seeing the positives in a person instead of instant comparisons to someone/previous relationship is incredibly attractive yet sadly rare.

    3) Those who want to have a relationship but limit their options by either having very high expectations or look for attributes that a previous boyfriend possessed in a every guy they meet. They are looking for the same feelings to return or the same sparks to fly. If it doesn’t happen, they assume that person is wrong for them (This definitely applies to some guys as well)

    4) Those who have an extremely high opinion of themselves and are waiting only for prince charming to come riding on his white horse (or Ferrari!) and take them away to the promise land!

    5) Those who’ve been so badly hurt before that they just build a wall around themselves and unknowingly push people away. These people tend to look back and have many regrets.

    These are just a few common points that apply to guys too. I wouldn’t dream of divining a planet full of different humans into just 5 categories!

    At the end, it’s all about knowing yourself and having the right approach. Someone might be the nicest girl/guy in the world but if they have the mentality and approach that I described in points 1 or 4, they’re unlikely to have a happy relationship anytime soon and so can’t blame anything or anyone.

    I also believe that there is a soulmate for everyone. Even more than just 1. But many can easily let life pass them by whilst they wait to meet that person. Again nothing wrong with aiming high but one has to be realistic at the same time. If men or women saddle themselves with super high standards, constantly look for attributes that a previous partner possessed in someone new or expect the same feelings to return from a previous relationship they are only limiting their own options.

    There is a very fine line. Many people see it as either black (e.g Someone amazing, the true soul mate) or white (Someone to be with for the sake of it, out of desperation). By this I mean they’re likely to misinterpret my comment in a negative way and argue “why should I settle for less?” or “I deserve the best”. I’m not saying you should settle for something rubbish if you can’t have the absolute best. In my opinion there is black, grey (or call it whatever colour you like) and white! Those who see the colour in the middle are more open minded, realistic and tend to find happier, longer lasting relationships compared to those who only view thing in black or white (Apologies if my lack of writing skills doesn’t bring my point across well enough!).

    The world is indeed a different place now compared to how it was in our parents or grandparents days. There are far more distractions for both men and women, less need to rely on one another and everyone is far more independent. That’s why sadly less people try and are willing to opt out of a relationship after the first signs of strain. But that’s a whole different subject and for another time!

    • says

      Great observations Reza. I think you’ve pretty much covered most possibilities in your categories! For the first 6 years after the break-up, I most definitely fitted in with number 3. I’m honest about that. These days? I can honestly say I’m in the best space I’ve been in for years – so I’m going say number 2 and it feels great! You’re right about the world being a different place due to distractions(technology etc)and more independence particularly amongst women. Thanks for your comment!

  4. naz says

    Dear Elizabeth Rose,

    What a heart breaking story to read… but how beautiful to be able to read the latter part happy to hear your journey has led you to a positive place in your life now.

    I can empathize…

    You may love someone with all you heart and soul and do everything to make it work no matter what you go through in the ups and downs but you never truely know the extent your partner loves you or if they are in 100%…people often opt for an exit when things are difficult and blame it on a million silly reasons rather than face their issues head on and support each other.

    People are often not honest with themselves as to what they want from a relationship that’s when love can clash.

    You can be ‘in love’ or feel love towards someone we often confuse someone’s love and assume it’s mutually being ‘in love’ If 2 people are in love nothing is impossible to work at or get through. People are not willing to stick it through unless everything is perfect. What about the beauty which lies in our imperfections? Its not about anything superficial its a deeper connection that some people can’t be bothered with or don’t have the genetic makeup for because life is so fast pace..

    To connect with someone tryly and see the depth of someone’s soul is love… Often we are faced with a person who falls out of love and wants out… that person was never really in love in the first place.

    Love with an open palm and not a closed fist… you shouldnt have to hold on to someone who really loves you that is what i have learnt. There is a reason why each and every person you ever meet walks into your life and maybe we can’t understand why this person couldnt see what we could or feel what we did but i guess one day we will look back and see clearly why they aren’t part of our lives…

    You will meet the man who will cherish you for who you are a beautiful loving person and will make you feel relieved that ‘Robbie’ is out of your life. I believe you learn lessons, you develop character in difficult circumstances and you come out understanding yourself with more clarity… we develop scars and some people cut us deep but we dont know whats out there for us next, believe it will be great and believe you deserve to reach every happiness and you will get it. You can have everything you want all you need is a partner who is in it with you .

    Love is not scary or difficult or short term… the time to throw in the towel when two people are in love is never… when you find a person who believes the same then you know you are in it no matter what obstacles or challenges life brings

    Good luck

  5. says

    Naz – such a beautiful message, thank you so much :-). You’re so right by saying “you shouldnt have to hold on to someone who really loves you”. I do believe that. But I have to disagree with you about falling out of love meaning the person wasn’t in love in the first place…I have had two experiences where I have truly loved someone and then fallen out of love. People grow and change and sometimes what you used to love about them starts to fade, or maybe they adopt new traits that are destructive and unhealthy…should you still be willing to work on it then? Either way, I’m learning so much from all the messages I’m getting on my page and my personal profile page on FB, so thanks to all of you! x

  6. max says

    Wow, that was a very heart touching story Miss Liz and very soulful, thank-you for sharing.

    I think some of the insights you shared ring true.

    We are in a period of great change and yes the sexes are out of whack I agree. I feel part of the problem is some people want their cake and eat it too though, Ill explain.

    The sexes I think are out of whack because our system is under great change in the west, where many of us at a young age saw men portrayed as ‘tarzanish’ and women as ‘Janeish’ and this was the primal base of attraction along with physical form and has gone back for millennia with exceptions as always.

    However In this age of spiritual growth women have become more assertive, confident and capable, some of the traits they were often attracted to in men in general. They have complained justly about men being emotionally unavailable and some have stood assertively and confidently to get their fair deal.

    In asking for a fair deal they have asked that men treat them as equals and be more emotionally available and rightly so, but here is the problem as men bend to the real needs of women and become more emotionally available their vulnerability becomes more apparent and testosterone levels drop and the idea of ‘tarzan starts to shrivel for women a primal part of attraction. In the same breath as women become less vulnerable and reduce their oestrogen levels mens primal attraction starts to fall also. So unknowingly we may have begone to to unravel the basic rules of attraction, but this can be a good thing if we realise its benefits on the the spiritual front IE less dependance more interdependence on the sexes and accept some of the things we have lost in the change and remember what we have swapped out for?

    So does it or can it all come in the same package? Are we everything in the same package? I think there is no such thing and nor does there need be. I think in these modern times people need to make trade offs not for abusive, unhealthy relationships but realistic ones and realise high attraction and wealth and emotional compatibility seldom come in the same package, that 7/10 is pretty damn good and the rest of our needs can be met by us and not our partners. That life is a solo voyage that can be shared with others but if we attempted to be emerged in another there would be great spiritual compromise.

    In the roughly the words of scott peck when we have learnt to accept our imperfections that love will find us and we will be able to love another as we realise the imperfections are what make them interesting and attractive like a knotted twisted tree 😉

    Peace

  7. Paul says

    Hi LIZ;
    I live in a universe that make sense, but the issue is I don’t. I share your thoughts and feelings and believe it hurts so much more once you recognize that you are not a bridge for people to walk on you. I gave up long time ago, I am not going to experience more the same pain. Life is too short and dangerous, I do not watch television, I do not read newspaper, and certainly do not get involve in religion and politics. I believe there is a maker and a soul mate there, like a vibration or electric impulse, once those pulses vibrate at the same frequency, the only element that could possibly separate them for harmonious frequency is another vibration or frequency according to Natural Laws. In Florida the extreme weather phenomena is a fact of life base on certain Natural Equations, it is advisable that when we have severe thunderstorms to seek shelter and stay away from open spaces, yet so many Golfers die needlessly because they fail to adhere to the warning signs. Soul-mates work under the same Natural Order, it is wise to stay indoors until things vibrate in the Natural frequency. The key is to be PATIENT.
    Paul

  8. Sunita says

    I am dealing with the same stuff…my bf cheated me for four yrs…then he put his wifes and his photos on his fb wall saying he is married for past six yrs…I was 28…Today Im heart broken single girl at 30 in India…..What a life…want punch his ugly nose with iron chains…

  9. Dave says

    Liz,
    That is a truly touching story, thank you for writing it! I am going through a bit of a tough time with a somewhat similar issue, all be it in a slightly different and much less devestating context than your story desribes. I really don’t know how I stumbled across this blog. But I did, and it somehow put me in a much better mood. I suppose sometimes it is beneficial to hear another person tell a story similar to one in which we all have known at one time or another. It helps to remind us that their is a light at the end of the tunnel and that time heals all wounds. Many people throw in the towel after something like that happens to them. But some of us don’t see giving up as an option! This kind of message can benefit anyone who reads it in a broader scope than just relationships, as heartache comes in many different forms. It takes a lot of guts to put something so personal out there in an attempt to help others feel better. That’s a very courageous act! I am also single and in my 30’s, so I can relate to your story in some ways. It’s not always an easy go… Not for a guy or a girl… If I didn’t live many thousands of miles away (75 miles outside of New York City) I would offer to buy you a drink just to say thank you :) But seriously, thanks for the pick-me-up, and keep up the good work!
    Cheers!

  10. Aaron says

    You write really well. I can relate to that story…… 6 years for me to “really” get over a girl that I was totally in love with. No doubt a reason I wouldn’t really commit to anything after that……

    Great Blog you have here Liz, feel like I am reading a novel that I can’t put down. Im sure all the readers feel like they know you on a personal level. Very real, very honest and from the heart. Awesome!

    • says

      Thanks so much for your comment Aaron! I met a woman a few weeks ago who follows my blog and she said she felt like she knew me so well, and that she feels like a bit of a stalker lol! I promised myself that I would be an open book, so am very honest and write from my heart. I’m glad it comes across that way :-)

      Sounds like you’ve had your heart broken pretty badly too. How long ago did it end?

  11. Helen says

    My goodness!, what a beautiful and sad story , you are so strong x. It made me re-live the past emotions of my own terrible heartaches. I was married to a man for 6 years untill he cheated on me with someone else and later married her, I was convinced he was the one I would grow old with. It still saddens me. I have only loved again once after that, and I broke his heart because my insecurities and societies social norms controlled me…when I realized that my love for him was important than what othdrs thought and I wanted him back it was too late.

    • says

      Oh Helen, that must have been awful :-(. I’m sure it still impacts you. I think almost everyone has a story of their own heartbreak. Keep trusting in the Universe and believe in your heart that your next soul mate is just around the corner. All the best xx

  12. Helen says

    More important*….I was divorced at 31, spent 2 years dealing with depression and rejection of my entire soul, then I met a younger man who I was with for a year. He treated me so much better and was really mature for his age. My family and friends were really protective of me after my divorce and didnt approve and said someone that old (he was 23) would just hurt me and cant commit etc. So I ended it, and he couldnt forgive me when 3 months later I said I was wrongNow he has baby daughter and Im a lonely 36 year old trying to figure out how to take the positves from it

  13. dane says

    Dont worry your not alone, i was so in love with this guy and found out he was cheating on me, without saying anything he just sms me and said i like her im sorry thanx for great time…i still see him everyday and it hurts because i think of all the times we had spend so i feel you pain.

  14. Katie G says

    Hi! I stumbled across your blog via random Googling (as you do!) and I really love it! Perhaps a bit too personal but I’m dying to know, are you still single or have you met an amazing man worthy of your love again? If so then can you spill the beans? I feel like I’m watching a great movie but I don’t know the (hopefully happy) ending!

    • says

      Hi Katie! I have met an amazing man…he actually is one of the blokes who left a comment on this post :-). A bit too soon to write a post about it…I’m hoping it’s going to be the fairytale happy ending I’ve been yearning for. Thanks for your comment xx

  15. Katie G says

    I’m glad to hear that, how romantic! I’ll now have to go back and read all the comments to see if I can figure out who it is!!!

  16. Sarica lune says

    Thanks for this loveliness and painful story, your story has inspire me a lot.

    My painful breaking up story is my boyfriend gave me an unexpected breakup text :( which hurt me the most. I still don’t understand why he wanted to break up with me. And it took 2 years and a half now I still single and can’t get over him. All day keep wishing he will come back to me. I hope after writing some about my painful love story make me forget him.
    XOXO

    • says

      Oh Sarica, I feel your pain. It’s a lonely feeling pining after someone who won’t reciprocate your love. I’m sure the right man is still out there waiting for you :-)

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